Today was a very scary day for me. I spoke the truth in love, through a letter. I chose to do it this way so that they could react first, think second, and respond third. I went to a person close to me and risked the relationship by telling them the pain that I have been holding on to for way too long. You see, I realized that by not sharing my problem with this person, I had been stripping them of all the power in the relationship. They didn’t even know I felt this way, and thereby couldn’t fix it. I got to keep safe, all wrapped up in my pain, without the risk of being rejected.
I have hopes that all will turn out well. I pray for this person, and myself, that we will be a Christ like example of restitution and forgiveness. I pray that our relationship will be stronger than it was. It’s hard waiting and wondering what is going on in their mind…I usually prefer to do this sort of thing face to face. It is easier to see someone’s heart through their expression than through their words.
Still, I feel God doing a work in me. The power I was holding on to in my fear, had kept me from experiencing the power of God.
Lord, forgive me for my lack of trust in you. I have wanted to bring this to you so many times…and in my hurt and insecurities I could not release it, until now. Regardless of the relationship that I may have lost with this person, I am very grateful that you were patient with me while I struggled with it.
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