Surgery Date Set

Jess summer of 2011

The phone did finally ring.  The Doc wanted us to come in and talk about what they found as results of the EEG.  It's clear that she's having seizure activity, and told us that she has a mild form of epilepsy.  (Though they are very mild and look like twitches, not the grand mall ones that people most commonly associate with the condition.)  The good news is that the drug they are starting her on has very few side effects and because she's taking a lower dose than most, she has room to tweak the dosage before needing to switch to something else.  But she will likely be on it for the rest of her life.

Also, we discovered that the medication won't interfere with the surgery, but it's important to have her on it before they do it. So with that we were given the nod to set the date.

Monday March 19th she's going in for her pre op meeting, and Wednesday the 21st is the date of the surgery.  We will likely be in the hospital for a week.

Epilepsy and spinal fusion.  It's a lot to process.  It's a lot for anyone to process, let alone a 15 year old.  I like it better when our family drama comes with props, costumes and opening nights. 

On to practicals:  Currently I've rearranged bible studies that meet in our home and written teachers to let them know Jess won't be in school for an extended period of time.

Next on my agenda is to start a schedule of volunteers to catch and pitch the other kids to and from their various activities and school.  Then I suppose I better get caught up on house cleaning and laundry since I'm going to be out of commission while she's in the hospital.

After all this waiting around for it to happen, it feels like it's suddenly happening too fast and I'm scrambling.

I'll keep you all updated with stuff as I know it. 

The Lord's Time

Bible Reading: Deuteronomy 12-15

Scripture

At the end of every seven years you must cancel debts. This is how it is to be done: Every creditor shall cancel any loan they have made to a fellow Israelite. They shall not require payment from anyone among their own people, because the Lord's time for canceling debts has been proclaimed. (Deuteronomy 15:1-2)

Observation

I had a hard time focusing on what to bring to you with this passage today.  I'm not a strong enough bible scholar to catch all the nuances that I can sense swimming in the deeps of this scripture.  So forgive me if I swim the shallows with what I have to offer today.

That said, I love how God uses patterns.  The pattern I see here is that of the Sabbath.  God was active in working /creating for six days and then on the seventh, he rested.  The Ten Commandments tell us to follow that example and reserve that day for the Lord and to do no work.  To rest.  If you take a step back from counting time in weeks, and do it in years, you see the same pattern.  The seventh year all debts are cancelled, slaves set free and even the fields are to go fallow on the seventh year.   That verse in Deuteronomy calls it "The Lords Time."

Here is what I see:

The lender in this scripture has to trust God for the stability of his business or his family (depending on if he was a public or a private lender).  His investment is in a cycle that is short-term and weighted in favor of the lender in the long-term.  What trust he has to have that God will provide his needs!

The borrower (or slave) now has hope; a chance at a "do over".   This would be an amazingly powerful testimony to the world coming from a nation of people who were subjugated to Egypt!  There is a verse in the gospels of the New Testament, pertaining to a woman who was anointing the feet of Jesus with her life-savings, in the form of perfume.  He said to his disciples, who were indignant at her excess (thinking it could have been better spent on the poor), "he who has been forgiven much, loves much."

Application

There are lots of political places (especially in an election year) that someone could take this section of scripture and talk about the ills of our modern, western society.  They could incorporate our welfare system, human trafficking, government bailouts, reverse mortgages and agricultural damages of over farming and pesticides...  I'm not savvy enough to pull that off.  (Maybe someone who is will do that in our comments.)

Here is what I can take home with me from this passage though:  The Sabbath.   Do I take that day and worship God with it as a day of slowing down, relaxing, recreating?

Will I guard how far I allow myself to fall into debt?  This culture will allow me to owe many times more than I can pay, and what it says in Proverbs 22:7 is true, that "the borrower is servant to the lender."

The idea behind it all, is to be free... free to serve him, free to move when he tells you to move, free to give to those in need, free to serve others.

Jubilee.

Prayer

Father, forgive me for getting caught up in the American Dream of acquisition.  I desire to be free, to own less stuff and more of you.  I confess that I need to sit on these ideas and concepts longer, that I've only scratched the surface of what you have to teach me.  America is so far away in time and geography from the people you were speaking to in this scripture that I need your help in navigating the principles and practicals of application for my life.  I feel like I've missed something vital in the translation from the "there and then" into my "here and now".  All I know is that you have forgiven much in my life, and I want to show my love in return.

I am closing my prayer in the echo of words in a song: "Speak Lord to me, for your servant hears.  Share with me your word.  I'm waiting here with a ready heart.  Speak Lord to me, I'm yours."

Amen.

This is a syndicated post.

Waiting for the phone to ring

The six-hour EEG test for Jessica was done on Friday.  I jumped like a nervous cat every time the phone rang all weekend long, but still no news from the doctor on the results of the test, regarding seizure activity.  Now it's Monday and I've promised myself to call them if I don't hear anything by two or three in the afternoon. 

The biggest question I have for them is if this will interfere with getting the scoliosis surgery done.  If they give the okay, then I will be calling the orthopedic surgeon to set the appointment.

In the mean time I expect that we will have prescriptions to fill for Jess and a testing time to evaluate how she does on them and if she has any side effects.

The best scenario of all is that she finds meds that are inexpensive, don't cause side effects and will keep the spasms away so that she can take drivers ed.  She might be on them for the rest of her life, but they won't impact her quality of life.  Then, we get her surgery, and if she can catch a break, then there won't be any complications or infections from that... and aside from setting off metal detectors, she can return to a very normal life. 

Well, as normal as the life of a teenager is likely to get. 

This is what I am praying for; that the rest of this goes smoothly and we don't have any more surprises.  That there are no complications with medications or with the surgery.

On other news, the auditions are over, the cast list has been posted, and I now have two of my girls as performers and one as a techie participating in the spring musical Willie Wonka.  Tonight is their first rehearsal.  Alyssa is playing the role of Mrs. Gloop, and Megan is an Oompa Loompa (did I spell that right?).  Jessica is working with the Lavs (wireless microphones the actors wear). 

Bill is in the middle of tax season, and he's wearing a little thin at the edges. He's exhausted and I'm a bit worried he's going to end up getting sick.  It's our 20th  anniversary on Wednesday.  We were joking this morning before he left that we should change our date to after April 15th.  Part of me really wants to celebrate this milestone in our marriage, they've been really good years together, made stronger from the struggles and not weakened.  The other part of me wants to use the time he'd have taken off to spend with me, and let him have a night to himself or clear the house so he can just sleep. 

Finally, before I close this entry, please keep a friend of mine in your prayers.  Her name is Amy and she's a chosen sister.  Last week she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It's unclear what stage it's in, but she's scheduled for surgery on Thursday to remove the tumor.  I don't know much more yet than that, but it's a large tumor and there are signs of lymph node involvement.  Please pray that the surgery goes well for her, that they get all of it and that her body heals well and quickly.  She's got two small children who need their mommy.

I've been a little more weepy these last few weeks than I remember in a long time.  The tears seem to sit at the edges of my thoughts all day long and it doesn't take much for them to come to the surface.  It's weird.  I don't usually handle stress that way.  But I'm grateful for the relief that the tears seem to leave with me when they go. 

Anyway, thank you for spending time with me on this Monday while I wait for the phone to ring.  The house is quiet, Bill to work, the girls to school - all of them busy and involved.  I sit here with the snow falling organizing my thoughts, preparing to enter into my prayer time. 

I am grateful for the presence of my Lord.  He has chosen not to instantly heal my daughter, or my friend.  He hasn't lightened the depression of winter or the cycle of busy season.  But He is with me.  He doesn't leave me alone in it, and provides me with comfort and peace even through the fear and stress. 

It's like when you'vew been running for a long time and your dry and thirsty, heart pounding, fear of what's behind you, close on your heels... then you have refuge.  He's the one I run to when life is whelming because when I'm there, with him, I have rest. My head can be such a noisy place, where thoughts chase and circle each other replaying converstations; how I should have done things differently, what will I do "if", on and on. He doesn't always change the circumstances I am in, but he does... quiet me.  If you haven't experienced what I'm talking about, this must seem so strange to you.

Now that I've emptied my fears and worries into words, and asked for help in prayer from you, I'm ready to be silent.  I'm going to close for now so that I can go to my prayer closet and "be still".  When I'm wound up with worry It's so much harder to sit still and listen to what He has to say.  But this is what I need to do. 

Thanks for sharing the morning with me.

Harassed and Helpless

Bible Reading: Numbers 25-28

Scripture

Moses said to the Lord, “May the Lord, the God who gives breath to all living things, appoint someone over this community to go out and come in before them, one who will lead them out and bring them in, so the Lord’s people will not be like sheep without a shepherd.” (Numbers 27:15-17)

Observation

God has just told Moses that he can see the Promised Land, but he won’t be allowed to enter it.  The scripture I’ve pulled above is his final request, a new shepherd to be appointed to govern the people.

As I read this verse, other verses immediately came to mind.  After all, the bible is replete with sheep and shepherd metaphors in the bible.  Use a concordance or run a search in any bible program and you’ll see what I mean.  I’ve pulled only a few to use as example.

John 10:2 “he that enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep.”

John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”

John 10:14 “I am the good shepherd, I know my sheep, and my sheep know me.”  

Ezekiel 34:16b  “I will shepherd the flock with justice.”

1^st Peter 2:25 “For you were like sheep going astray”, But now you have returned to the Shepherd and overseer of your souls.”

John 10:16 “I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen.  I must bring them also.  They too will hear my voice and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.”

Oh, and don’t forget the oft quoted 23^rd Psalm.

That exact phrasing “Like sheep without a shepherd” is used in the old testament. You can find them in Numbers 27:17, Isaiah 13:14, 2^nd Chronicles 18:16 and it’s usually used to describe people who are disorganized with no master;  people who have gone their own way.

The last scripture that I want to draw attention to though is one where Jesus uses the same phrase Moses did.  It’s found here in Matthew 9:36 “When he saw the crowds he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”  Mark 6:34 in his accounting of this same passage continues it by going on to say, “so he began teaching them many things.”

Application

Where are you on your journey?  Where would you place yourself in this metaphor that Moses, several Old Testament authors, and Jesus paint?  Are you feeling harassed or helpless?  Do you long to have someone care for you, beat away the lions and wolves and give you a place to belong?

I invite you to come to Him.  He’s not afraid of your questions or doubts and He will not turn you away.  But you must be willing to leave your own ways, and learn His ways.

Prayer

Thank you, Daddy, for not leaving me harassed and helpless.  Thank you for making a way for me to come to you, …to belong.  I pray for those who might read this journal who do not know you. I pray that you would give them courage to come to you with their questions and their doubts.  I pray that you would give them courage to abandon their own way, and chose you.

This is a syndicated article. The same post is made to www.sciojournal.wordpress.com/harassed-and-helpless  join us in our corporate conversation as we read through the bible in a year.