The Struggle...

I'm sure you've noticed how quiet it's been on the blog lately.  Partly that's because of the situation we've had with Jess, but it's also because after a talk with my husband I see that I was crossing some lines of personal information that he wasn't comfortable with.

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I'm struggling to find a balance here.  I'm using this blog as I would my journal time, a place to sort myself out and make sense of all that's going on in my experience.  Normally, it would be full of details and specifics - things that I can pin down until they stop squirming so I can identify them.  I'll trace it back through my history on why I feel, or am acting or responding the way I am to this trigger, and ask the Lord's help on making it right, healthy, whole.  Sometimes it means that I only have to acknowledge what's happened, name it for what it really is through the lens of truth, and not the lens of wanting to be the hero in my own story... But sometimes I have real harm I need to address.  Harm that's been done to me or that I've done to others while in reaction mode.

All of that self-examination reveals  more than my own story, since I share a life with my husband and children.  So I struggle to find a balance where I can speak a universal truth, yet step softly around the details that would make this MY journey instead of one you might able to relate to as well.

I struggle with knowing if what I am saying "out loud" here on the blog is something that God is using.  I can step softly around the details, and continue here if I know that what I am saying has value to another.  But if all I am really doing is standing in an empty room talking to myself, I can go back to my spiral notebooks for that.

I don't usually beg for responses.  But today I am.  If you know me personally and you have my e-mail address, or you know me on facebook or twitter, please send me a note letting me know that you read my blog and what type of posts speak to you.  If you have stumbled across my blog from the net, and you keep coming back to it, leave me a comment?